“There are some who bring a light so great to the world that
even after they have gone the light remains.”
– Oscar Yulaw
Matt’s been gone five years today. It still feels impossible. I still grieve for him.
Turns out the American Psychiatric Association has recently determined that I’m mentally ill. They’ve decided that anyone who continues to grieve after one year is suffering from Prolonged Grief Disorder, a new mental illness that has been added to the DSM-5 (manual of mental disorders).
Can you imagine losing your son or daughter and not grieving for them for the rest of your life? One year, what an arbitrary number. So, after one year, we’re supposed to “move on” “get over it” and go back to the way life used to be?
The APA wants me to believe there’s something wrong with me and they have just the medication to fix me.
The relevant question in psychiatry
shouldn’t be…What’s wrong with you?
It should be…What happened to you?
– Eleanor Longden
Working hand in hand with the pharmaceutical industry, they want to turn every negative emotion into an illness so they can sell their pills to treat it.
It’s time to stop treating negative human emotions as disorders. It’s good for the psychiatric community and most of all the pharmaceutical companies who want to sell their pills to treat the disorders. Turns out 69% of the DSM-5 task force members reported financial ties to the drug industry. How is this ethically allowed?
“It is revealing to see what happens when people are exposed to psychiatric drugs and other brain-active substances. There are remarkable similarities, no matter which drug or substance we use, whether it be prescription drugs, narcotics bought in the street, alcohol, or opium. Common effects are numbing of feelings, emotional blunting, drowsiness, lack of control over your thoughts, caring less about yourself and others, and reduced or absent capacity.”
– Peter C Gotzsche, MD
This is their substitute for grief. No thank you.
There’s nothing wrong with me beyond feeling the pain of the emotionally devastating event of losing my child.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I’m not suggesting that people don’t need help dealing with their grief, I think most people would benefit from help. But the solution being given is to stick a label on them and give them medication that numbs their emotions. With awful side effects. Instead, we should acknowledge that this is a normal reaction to loss and then look at non-pharmaceutical solutions first, such as different types of therapy. Unfortunately, they take time, money, and commitment.
Within the first few months after Matt died, I was offered anti-depressants by two different doctors, unsolicited. I was suffering but it was not a mental illness, it was a completely reasonable response to the loss of my child.
I will grieve for my son for the rest of my life. I will also move forward with my life and find ways to enjoy life with my family and friends while continuing to honor Matt in every way I can and that includes sharing information about our mental health system.
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